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misses
 JERYL S. Cedar Pole Vault. Instagram
rewind
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 Yeah I should actually start listening to the people that actually care about me haha. I mean... I really don't know where all these... who knows what... are taking me to. Yes it's my life and I deserve to live it the way that I want to. No matter what I do, there will still be people that judge me... And yes I think alot, too much in fact. But still, I can't stop people from judging me so hell, you guys can go talk all you want about me but just know that you can't stop me.Well, like Alex said, I should thank you guys in fact. I don't exactly hate you, but your presence ain't much of an excitement to me(: but well, you made me go through all these shit but guess what, I came back stronger. And I've gained a whole lot of new experiences that might actually make me a better a person. And yes I think I'd rather suffer now than later in life. I mean, what's there for me to lose now? You guys may push me and knock me down as many times as you want but I'll never give up trying. I'll end up being a much better person than you are and well you... you can go to hell bitch.  They say be yourself but yet they still end up judging you. And when you're not yourself, they call you fake.. But guess what? This is life. You can't control what others say about you but you definitely can control what you want to achieve with your own life. Okay what am I saying? Sounds grammatically wrong but oh wells, point is, learn to know who you should trust and who you shouldn't. I learnt that the hard way. But I'm glad I went through all these shit now instead of later in life. And yes, BE YOURSELVES. It's tough, definitely, but still we need to learn how to do so. And well for me, I gotta learn how to not trust anyone too easily. I'm still really not sure who I am to be honest. But like Alex said, I really should chill and just relax a little haha. I think I think too much about EVERYTHING which is why I'm so tense. But honestly, I'm really sick of always being the one getting hurt. But yet again, I really don't want to hurt others and end up having one more enemy. I really don't know who I hurt, honestly... I suppose I hurt those that are the closest to me. But I just really don't know what I'm doing now at this point of time. What with hurt and all. But I hope after all these, I'll turn strong unlike those that just give up. Anyway, I just really wanna thank those people that really do genuinely care about me(: Okay I shall name some but if your name's not here, please don't get offended. I may have forgotten or something coz I'm writing this at 2 am!  Just in case, the order is in no particular order or whatsoever. I just basically write down whoever came into mind(: Gladys (for being there for me all these 4 years and putting up with my shit ass temper hehehe) Alex (for always listening and giving me advice whenever I really don't know what to do with my life. And for always motivating me!) Felicia (for always being such a funny junior. You pigshitt attitude always makes me relax so much more and thanks for being so honest with me everytime!) Duang (for being such an awesome brother and caring for me. I know I have such a bad temper and might sometimes annoy the hell outta you but I really do appreciate all that you've done for me.) Bryan (for being such a cute and funny bro listening to all my shit stories and for encouraging me all these while. Talking to you always calms me down haha.) Shintaro (for always listening and giving me a third persons view of my life! You may be so naggy but at least I know you really do care for me.)  Somehow I think that some people who don't know me, when they read this they may think I'm a fugging flirt or bitch or whatsoever but up to you to decide. I may know a lot of girls from school but I definitely am not close to em. Not to mention my CCA. I know I have haters and I know who some of them are. It's not like I don't know. But I just try to ignore them and live life as I want it. In tuition there are only 3 girls! Me, Gladys and Nuril... How many girl friends can I meet =.= Oh wells, whatever y'all wanna say, up to you coz I really don't give a fuck.Honestly, up till now, I really rather I be a loner than be someone like you. I'd rather feel safe knowing that I have friends that care for me and friends than I can trust. As compared to friends that I have to constantly be wary of. Are those even considered friends? You call yourselves friends but behind each other's back, you bitch about one another like mad. You guys should really go find out the meaning of friends... IN THE DICTIONARY and not the BITCH-IONARY. (okay I was just being lame but these kinda people really piss the fuck outta me)  Really can't stand you guys. You make everyone hate one person but what does that make you? Does it make you happier to see her trampled in the dirt? Does that make you of a higher calibre than her? Does that make you a better person? Some people give excuses saying that they have been hurt before which is why they hurt others. But so what if you've been hurt before? Does that give you the right to knock everyone else down? You know how it feels like to be at the bottom. So why do you want others to feel that? Just a tip, when you're at the bottom, though you'll feel hopeless and there's nothing much you can do, well, the only place you can go to is up. I just wanna leave you guys with a question. What kind of friends do you wanna have? Think about that. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller, doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone.
xoxo
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